I was nervous. I don’t like being out of my comfort zone and
public speaking qualifies as being WAY out of my comfort zone. But I had a message I wanted to share, so I
spoke. I shared Jeff’s story and message
to a crowd of around 200 walkers who were anxious to start walking. I wondered if I would be heard…if the message
would be heard. I wondered if I would
pass out.
But Timna spoke before me and did a
fabulous job. And I knew she was nervous…beyond
nervous. But she shined and thus gave me
confidence to speak. (Thank you Timna!)
I wish I had my speech on tape. There was a camera crew on site to film a
video about the entire Amanda Wall – Corey Haddon Memorial Walk experience, so
perhaps one day I’ll have it to share.
Such a tape would catch the adlibs while the train whistle blared behind
me…and when I challenged anyone to debate on the (lack of) health benefits of
tanning. Oh, and I was wearing a tutu the entire speech. But until I have such a video,
I’ll share what I wrote for the speech instead.
One more thing the copy below doesn’t
share is the joy I felt when someone approached me afterward, promising to make
an appointment for the dermatologist on Monday morning. That, my friends, is exactly why it was worth
stepping far from my comfort zone.
The Speech:
A
little over a year ago, I was fortunate enough to meet Don, Rebecca, Chap and
Diane. I never met Amanda or Corey, but
through their family and friends, I discovered that both were amazing girls
that were taken from us far too early by melanoma. Like many of you, I walk here today in their
honor. But I also walk in honor of my
brother Jeff.
In
2004, Jeff had a large ugly mole on his back.
His wife convinced him to see a dermatologist. He diagnosed it as early stage melanoma and
had it surgically removed with clear margins.
That means the melanoma was completely removed. But that was to be expected…after all, it was
just skin cancer, right? I mean, you
just cut it out and go on with your life…no big deal. At least that’s what everyone thought…me included.
But
Jeff knew it was a big deal…he knew the seriousness of melanoma. He knew that he dodged a bullet. He knew he had a new lease on life, and he
started to live more healthily. He lost
weight, got his diabetes in check, exercised more, and stopped smoking. He encouraged others to be sun safe and
convinced many to see their dermatologist…including me. He became involved with the Special Olympics
and Relay for Life. But at the Relay for
Life, he’d never visit the survivor’s table to get a special ribbon or
t-shirt. Jeff felt that he wasn’t worthy
of being called a survivor because he hadn’t undergone the radiation or
chemotherapy that so many others had. But he was wrong. He was a survivor because he suffered the
mental anguish of knowing he had cancer.
In
2010, Jeff visited his general practitioner for a physical. The doctor said Jeff was in the best health
that he’d seen in years, and he asked Jeff if he had any questions or
concerns. Jeff responded that he felt
great, but that he had some dizziness, that letters would seem to move as he
was reading, and that he was having memory lapses. The doctor joked that it was probably due to
getting older, but decided to order an MRI to make sure things were okay.
What
they found were three one-inch tumors in Jeff’s brain and numerous tumors in
his lungs. The melanoma was back. You see, for anyone that has had melanoma,
there is a one in three chance that it will reoccur. This is exactly what happened with Jeff.
So
in August of 2010 after an otherwise healthy check-up Jeff was diagnosed with
Stage IV melanoma. In November, three
months later, Jeff died.
I
visited with Jeff in September, only one month after his diagnosis. His health has deteriorated quickly. He was bloated from the steroids, his hair
was gone, and he was using a walker because he was rapidly losing his motor
skills. When he talked with you, he
would stare through you…partially because he was slowly going blind and
partially because he had trouble recognizing people. I had to remind him who I was several
times. But we still had some good
conversations about our childhood and other misadventures.
He
told me a story about how he went to the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Center
for cancer treatments. He visited the
gift shop to look for anything related to melanoma. Because the color for melanoma is black, he
sought out black ribbons…black wristbands…black car magnets. But all he could find was pink.
Jeff
and I both have family members and friends that have battled breast cancer, so
we had nothing but respect for the pink breast cancer awareness campaign. But Jeff told me that he was SO disappointed
that there was nothing black at all.
Jeff said to me, “Alan, I wish that just once, black would be the new
pink.” I have a blog for melanoma
awareness and that’s what I named it to honor my brother…Black is the New Pink.
But
I’m not here to promote my blog, I’m here to share Jeff’s message which was the
next thing he told me in our conversation.
Jeff said, “People need to know.”
That’s all he said, but I knew what he meant.
People need to know about melanoma. People need to know that one person dies from
melanoma every hour in the U.S. People
need to know that 1 person out of 5 is diagnosed with potentially disfiguring
skin cancer, and 1 out of every 50 will be diagnosed with melanoma in their
lifetime. People need to know that
melanoma is the number two cancer killer for people ages 15 to 25…so it’s not
just an old person’s disease. People
need to know that Bob Marley died from melanoma on his toe…so it’s not just a
fair-skinned person’s cancer and it can occur anywhere on the body.
But
people need to know that you CAN go out and enjoy the sun. Jeff loved the outdoors. He hiked, geocached, golfed and worked in his
garden. He wanted people to know how to
be safe in the sun. People need to wear
sunscreen…every day…even on cloudy days.
People need to wear hats. People
need to wear sunglasses, because melanoma can occur in the eye! People need to stay away from tanning beds
because there is not one healthy benefit to using a tanning bed…period! But most importantly, people need to know to
see their dermatologist.
Your
skin is your largest organ! Your skin is
you most exposed organ! Your skin is
your most damaged organ! You visit your
dentist once or twice a year... you visit your family doctor once a year, so it
only makes sense to visit your dermatologist once a year. If you haven’t seen your dermatologist in a
while, I encourage you to call and make an appointment Monday morning!
People
need to be aware of melanoma. But people
also need to take action against melanoma.
You are taking action today by participating in this walk. Please continue to take action after today by
sharing the stories you hear today. Take
action by wearing sunscreen, avoiding the tanning bed, and visiting the dermatologist, and
encouraging others to do the same. If
you have to wear a black tutu to get their attention, please do it! Do so in honor of Amanda, Corey, Jeff, and
the many thousands who are touched by melanoma every day.
Thank
you.
