AIM's Anne

 

I wrote my very first blog post for Black is the New Pink back on March 4, 2011.  I wasn’t sure what type of response, if any, I would receive.  Ten days later, I received my very first comment.  It read as follows:

Great post!  I was diagnosed with melanoma in Dec 2010 and knew little about it before then.  Unfortunately, I had to learn a lot quickly and was so saddened by what I read, especially about the disease in its later stages.  It’s a horrible cancer that deserves more attention, funding, etc.  I am in Charlotte so keep me posted about any events going on in NC!  I’m looking to become more involved in melanoma awareness as well.

-Anne

That comment was written by known other than Anne Bowman, current AIM Charlotte Chapter President whose organization just pulled off another successful AIM for a Cure Melanoma Walk.

Anne, I think well over 400 people and $60,000 in funds raised for melanoma today says that your search for involvement has paid off enormously.

Congratulations!

Moments

I believe that every moment has an effect on every other moment of your life.  The fact that I just corrected a typo (one of many no doubt) may not have any significant impact to my future, but I’m convinced that action and all others lead to certain pivotal events.

For instance, I’ve always joked (sorta) that had my dad not taken me and my brother to a WVU football game when I was a kid, my children wouldn’t be eating their breakfast right now.  How so?  My family had a few hours to kill before the game, so we walked around town.  This is back when the football stadium was tucked between two hills in the downtown campus area and the term “tailgating” was still years away.  My brother and I were both in awe of the campus and student center.  The electricity of the game itself had a magic all its own.  I decided right then that I would attend college at WVU.  Fast forward to many years later when the job I got out of college lead me to Raleigh, North Carolina.   A small group of local WVU Alumni decided to form a local chapter and we gathered at Chi Chi’s to watch a Mountaineer football game on TV.  While there, I met a girl who eventually became my wife, which of course led to the two kids chowing down on waffles right now.  All because my dad wanted to go see a game.

Some moments aren’t so pleasant, but they still have a profound effect.

Two years ago today, my dad called me as I was driving home from work.  I knew what the call was about before he even spoke.  My brother Jeff had passed away an hour earlier after a horrid battle against melanoma.  My mind was reeling and I never had one thought of how that moment would shape my life.  But it did.  It led me to ask questions.  What was melanoma?  How can someone get a clean bill of health in early August (except for a complaint of blurred vision and memory lapses) and be dead in just three months?  Was it possible that I could get melanoma?  If so, was there a way to prevent it?

I spent many evenings in my crowded little computer room reading all sorts of websites.  I browsed through a large variety of information, but stuck mostly with the traditional and respected resources such as the Skin Cancer Foundation, AIM at Melanoma, and the Melanoma Research Foundation.  I was receiving technical answers, but I was still missing something….something inside.  I started to read the site forums, and contacted one or two folks that had suffered from the disease, and they in turn invited me to read their blogs.  (Thank you Andrea Heitker, aka, Melanoma Girl).  I was once told that in order to find something inside, you had to free it, so I started to write.

I not only wrote about my thoughts and feelings about melanoma, I shared the new knowledge that I discovered.  When new medicines were approved by the FDA, I shared the news on Facebook and within my blog.  When I felt a tug of sadness while missing my brother, I shared it.  And with absolutely no intention of establishing an audience, people started to listen.  As they listened, they shared…and I started to listen.  Before I knew it, I was a part of a community with one common bond.  We had all somehow been touched my melanoma.

I sit here now, two years after my brother’s death, still seeking and sharing information from this cluttered room.  I still feel those tugs of sadness, especially on this day.  I also marvel at the path that was forged from the unfortunate event of Jeff’s death.  Don’t get me wrong, I would trade every good moment over the past two years to have my brother alive today.   But the moment did happen, and here I am today.

Tomorrow, I’ll be traveling to meet some of the folks within the melanoma community.  We’ll all be participating together on Saturday in a walk to raise money for melanoma research and awareness.  Fighting the disease is the goal…walking with these incredible people will be a great side benefit.  As one (yet to be met) friend stated, “You’ll see a little bit of everything…running, walking, sitting, hugging, and crying!”  I would be willing to bet plenty of smiles, too.

Every moment leads to another moment.  Every action has a reaction.  Every decision defines your future.  One tragic moment that occurred two years ago today has led me with great anticipation to a joyous event in two days.   Who knows how many incredible moments will be forged for the future this weekend?

I miss you Jeff.  And thank you.

Just Four More Months!

On November 17, a special event will take place that YOU can be a part of.  Folks from across this land, including myself, will be gathering in Charlotte, NC for the AIM Walk for a Cure…a cure for melanoma. 

For those of you unaware of the Aim at Melanoma Foundation, they are the largest non-profit international organization focused on increasing support for melanoma research; promoting prevention and education among the general public and medical professionals; and providing comprehensive and easily accessible melanoma resources for patients, survivors and caregivers.  (Thanks Wikipedia).  In short, they do good things to help fight melanoma from all angles.

AIM is also the leading advocate for state legislatures to initiate tougher tanning laws.  They were the primary influence in making California the first state to ban tanning for minors.   I was pleased to offer my own support and efforts to assist AIM in spreading this initiative at the North Carolina State Legislative Building a couple months ago.

There are certainly other noteworthy foundations to fight melanoma, such as the Melanoma Research Foundation and the Skin Cancer Foundation…both of which I try to give some efforts each year towards their continued efforts.  But this AIM for a Cure Walk in November is my primary focus for the next few months.

The Reverend Carol sums up my involvement better in her blog about the event…but in short, she, Rich McDonald, Chelsea Price and I started a Facebook discussion about starting our own melanoma fund raiser.  Seeing as how we’re separated by many miles, we soon realized that it was an effort too large for the four of us to tackle…so in swooped Anne Bowman, Chairperson of the Charlotte Chapter of AIM at Melanoma. She offered her assistance to help, but we soon realized that it was best if we simply promoted and supported the walk she was already organizing in Charlotte.  The four of us decided to combine our blogging efforts to spread the word and from what I understand, the projected attendance is already quite high.

Several bloggers and Facebook friends have already committed to attending.  I encourage you to do the same.  It doesn’t cost anything to participate, but AIM asks that each participant generate $50 in donations via their website.  So, even if you can’t attend (and I wish you would), you can support others that are.  If you’d like to support me and my family, please click here to get to my donation page.  If you’d like to support someone else, please contact them.  Either way, you have the opportunity to participate in potentially the largest melanoma awareness and fund-raising event in North Carolina.  Wouldn’t it be great to make it the largest ever?  It’s possible...with your help.

Again, please consider offering a donation to my donation page, or donating to another.  But better yet…just meet us all in Charlotte.  November 17, 2012.

Be there!

Mr. BITNP Goes to Raleigh

Me, Timna and Anne

On June 13, I was fortunate to join with Anne Bowman (AIM at Melanoma), Carol Taylor (Melanoma Prayer Center), and Timna Understein (Respects the Rays) to assist the North Carolina Dermatology Association (NCDA) with a day of amateur lobbying at the NC Legislative Building.  Our goal was to lobby in support of prohibiting minors from using tanning facilities and remind folks in the building  that the dermatologists were giving free skin screenings down the hallway.  I would give a play-by-play of the morning, but that would take days to recall…so much happened in such a short time, it felt like a week.  So I’ll simply share a few observations and thoughts of the day:

• First of all, the three aforementioned ladies were incredible.  I loved meeting folks that I’ve “met” on Facebook…this being my second meeting with Carol.  I think the group gelled very well as if we had been friends for years.  Each person had their own personality which meshed well to form a great group personality.  I look forward to seeing and working with each of these folks again in the future.

• The bill to ban tanning for minors has yet to be officially introduced.  The NC Legislators have “short” and “long” sessions…this year being a short session.  (I suspect it has something to do with having time to prepare for re-election campaigns).  The actual bill is to be introduced next year…our experience this past Wednesday was a dry-run rehersal for next year.  We developed some great ideas for improvements next year.

• It’s been said to “Speak softly and carry a big stick.”  But I believe the philosophy of all the lobbyists in the building was “Speak quickly and carry a smart phone.”  These guys must have had a self-guiding app on their phone because I’m not sure I saw one look up from the screen even while they were negotiating the maze-like hallways.

• There is a lot of politicking in politics.  So many people had their own agendas and causes to push…there were literally lines at some of the representatives’ offices.  But the open door policy was quite interesting to see.  No real “appointments” were noted…just a quick “is the Senator in?” inquiry before talking.

• That “talking” was pretty much limited to a hand shake, a verbal introduction, and a quick, “we’re here to represent the melanoma community and hope you’ll consider supporting a bill to ban tans in 2013…plus please take advantage of the free skin screening down the hall.”

• I found that most of the legislators were out in session or in meetings…so I approached all of the assistants.  I know they’re the ones that run the day-to-day workings…and most were quite receptive and had already arranged to get their screening.  I’m sure they ended up reminding their specific legislator when they returned to the office.

• The group, individually or together, spoke with one of the most conservative legislators, and to one of the most liberal.  Both stated that they’d support a tanning ban bill.  That has to bode well for chances of passage next year.

• Politicians have to walk a fine line…and in this day and age, unemployment is a hot topic.  So lobbying to shut down an industry, no matter how sleazy, is a tricky stance.  This is why the proposed ban would be for minors only.  Also, the flyers we handed out stated that banning the beds would not be bad for business as teens would migrate their dollars to safer tanning alternatives such as spray tanning.  Offering to allow tanning salons to “remain lucrative” didn’t set well with all of us…but I suppose it is all part of the political process.  (Unfortunately, the ABC News report on the dangers of spray tanning came out the same morning as we were pitching its use.  Oops.  More on that in my next blog.) 

• Politics can challenge your own beliefs.  I met with several representatives, but a couple of them are guys I would never vote for due to our differing opinions.  However, they each support a tanning ban.  Again, the bill won’t be introduced until next session, after the election.  So, do I compromise my general political philosophies and vote to keep these guaranteed “yes” votes in, or do I vote for their opponents, thus risking losing that supporting vote?  It’s a dilemma and I don’t envy the politicians one bit for having to make similar decisions all day.

The day was exciting, eye-opening, and informative.  But most importantly, I learned that I can’t wait to work with each of these ladies again!  It was a true pleasure and honor.

AIMing for November 17, 2012

In late October of 2010, I had a thought of how wonderful it would be to meet some of the fellow bloggers in the Hotel Melanoma world.  I have read dozens of blogs with many of the writers sharing inspiring and moving thoughts.  Some have become good “virtual friends” while others have sadly passed away in their fight against melanoma.  Still, I wondered what could happen to bring some of us physically together.

Literally that same evening, I received an email from Rev. Carol Taylor, founder of the Melanoma Prayer Center and the Melanoma Grief Chapel, as well as writer of the blog “Attitude of Gratitude.”  She was asking if I’d be willing to join her and two others (Chelsea Price of “Adventures With My Enemy Melanoma” and Rich McDonald of “Hotel Melanoma”) in organizing some type of fund-raising event.  Wow…talk about timing.

We had collectively decided to organize a fund-raising walk…but eventually realized the logistical challenge of four people across the country trying to organize one single event.  I’m not sure we could have pulled it off, but then Rich (I think) suggested that maybe we should pull together our efforts and support an already existing event.  Brilliant!  As it so happened, Chelsea was about to participate in the AIM for a Cure Melanoma Walk in Charlotte.  Based on her incredible experience, and the support and assistance from event organizer Anne Bowman, it was decided that we would work towards raising money for the 2012 AIM for a Cure Melanoma Walk!  But best of all, we’d all finally be able to meet one another.  Even Rich said he’d come in all the way from Colorado!

I’m happy to announce that a date has been set for the 2012 walk…November 17, 2012.  I’m sure we’ll have more details as the date draws closer, and soon some of us may start soliciting donations. Honestly, asking for money has never been my strong suit as (1) I also have many financial struggles and find it difficult to give hardly any money and (2) I’m just not an “asking” person.   But, eventually I will ask for you to either join us in Charlotte, NC on November 17, 2012…or to support one of us as we walk to support the fight against melanoma.

November 17 is the 322^nd day of the year.  I am writing this on January 2^nd, the second day of the year.  That means you have 320 days to save up to donate.   Saving one dollar a day would allow a donation of $320!  Of course, that's a lot of money to many (including me), so consider setting aside only a quarter a day.  That itself would add up to an $80 donation!  Even a dime a day would add up to $32…so crack open that jar and start dropping in your change today.  In a few months, we’ll be asking for your help.

Last year the Charlotte event raised over $35,000. My personal goal (not endorsed by others yet) would be to exceed $50,000 in 2012.  What a wonderful gift to the world…all from a few coins a day! 

Even more wonderful would be if you could join us in Charlotte!  Putting faces and feeling hugs from all these people we’ve read and shared with would make it the best day imaginable.  I would love for each of you to be a part of it!

I'll have more to share on this event soon.  Stay tuned!